Oh Hayy Throwback Thursday!

 

For those of you non-savvy, instagraming, techno literate folk I'll help you out on this one. Every Thursday instagrammers, facebookers, and tweeters alike take a little time to reminisce on the good times (or not so good times) and upload pictures from back in the day (hence "throwback”). For some, this is a rare (and by rare I mean weekly) opportunity to show the world those skinny day pictures from high school or how tan and good looking you were in the summer. And hey, I'm not complaining, I would rather shoot a photo of me into cyber space where I wasn’t the color of dry wall paste any day. However, this is only acceptable Internet behavior on Thursdays. Which happens to be today, by the way.

This morning, as I was eating my bowl of blueberry oatmeal and drinking my green tea, I flipped through some old facebook albums (yea this could be considered facebook stalking myself. . . whatever we all do it!) and came across one from the summer after my junior year in high school. It's titled "The BEST week of my life. WiNdY GaP 07." Yep. Exactly like that. I thought the alternating capital and lower case lettering was left in the past of our AIM away messages, apparently not.

Anyway, that's really not important. What is important is how awesome it felt to be thrown back into that week of my life. That literally was and still is to this day the best week of my life. It's the week I met Jesus, like really met him, hugged him, and held his hand. The whole shebang. It was a rough week. I remember a lot of crying, and hugs from my awesome Young Life leader, Cali Bolinger. There definitely was a lot of laughing and smiling too, but it was a scary time for me to say the least. To give into believing in something I had been running away from and questioning my whole life was a big step. The biggest step I've ever taken. I would actually consider it like a leap. . . over the Grand Canyon. Yikes holy bikes.

Since I accepted Christ into my life I have always really resonated with the story of Peter walking on water. And this isn't just because I would like to do so, as well (though it would be pretty cool). For those of you who aren't familiar I'll paraphrase for you:

Basically, one night the disciples were all in this boat and all of the sudden Jesus came walking towards them literally on the water. They all became really freaked out and thought it was a ghost. However, Jesus proclaimed to them don’t be scurreddd, it's me! Peter said in return, if it's really you then tell me to come walk toward you. So Jesus did just so. Peter began to walk on the water as well, but as the wind became strong he became scared and started to sink. Jesus grabbed him and said, "You of little faith, why did you doubt?" Eventually they all got back in the boat like one big happy family and the disciples began to worship him saying, "Truly you are the son of God." If you would like the real version, I suggest you flip to Matthew 14:22-32.

The reason I feel so connected toward this story is because it kind of describes my leap over the Grand Canyon. I remember calling out to Jesus so many times in my life saying, "If you're real, if you really exist show yourself. . . do something incredible. . . make me believe." But when things didn’t go my way, or the wind started to blow in the wrong direction I would doubt and convince myself the whole "Bible, Jesus, God thing" was just a fad; or rather, something to help make death seem less scary. But I was overlooking so much. I was such a fool to ask God to do something incredible. It kind of makes me laugh that I asked the guy who created the world. . . to show me something cool. Like, really Kathryn what more could he have done at the point?  I can imagine him now calling to me just as he did with Peter, "You of little faith, why do you doubt?"

And I have a simple answer for that question. I doubted because I was scared. I was scared that if I started believing in God then I would have to give up all these things that I loved. And in addition to that I would have to start being a better person and obeying all these rules. What I didn’t know was that accepting the love of Christ into your life doesn't force you to do anything. I would argue that the benefits highly outweigh any costs that I have endured since embarking on this journey. I know this is strange, but sometimes I like to relate my acceptance of Christ to Little Debbie Cosmic Brownies. . .

Who doesn't love a Cosmic Brownie? I remember getting so excited when I would pack one in my lunch in high school (#fatgirlprobs. . . I know). But then I remember being like 10x more excited when I would pack a homemade from scratch, yummy, tummy, gooey, ooey brownie in my lunch (#reallyfatgirlprobs). And I account it to this: Look on the back of a Little Debbie box and please read the ingredients. Really. . . go do it, I know you have some in your pantry. And if you don't I'll help you:

Enriched Bleached Flour Wheat Flour, Niacin, Reduced Iron, Thiamin Mononitrate [Vitamin B1], Riboflavin [Vitamin B2], Folic Acid), Corn Syrup, Partially Hydrogenated Soybean and Cottonseed Oil with TBHQ to Preserve Flavor, Sugar, Dextrose, Water, Cocoa, Contains 2% or Less of Each of the Following: Candy Toppers (Semi-Sweet Chocolate Chips [Sugar, Chocolate, Cocoa Butter, Soy Lecithin, Vanilla Extract], Sugar, Corn Starch, Titanium Dioxide, Yellow 5 Lake, Yellow 6 Lake, Red 3, Blue T Lake, Blue 2 Lake, Gum Arabic, Confectioner's Glaze, Carnauba Wax, Milk), High Fructose Corn Syrup, Whey, Eggs, Emulsifiers (Soy Lecithin, Mono- and Diglycerides), Corn Starch, Salt, Leavening (Sodium Aluminum Phosphate, Baking Soda), Colors (Caramel Color, Red 40, Titanium Dioxide), Soybean Oil Natural and Artificial Flavors, Palm and Palm Kernel Oil, Egg Whites, Citric Acid, S0r6ic Acid (to Retain Freshness).

Yep. Read it and weep people. Now, it’s not just the health and fitness fanatic inside me that is completeley grossed out by this list. Think about it, look at all the artificial, odd, chemical enhancing things that go into making one of those brownies. It is just weird to me that I used to consume those.

Now look at the ingredients of a homemade brownie. Or, if you want to walk on my wild health nut side look at the recipe for some whole wheat naturally sweetened brownies. It probably looks something like, whole wheat flour, eggs, honey, cocoa, vanilla, applesauce, and baking soda. Now that is a big difference.

The reason I explain all of this is because I learned that accepting Christ didn’t force me to give up anything that I was afraid I would have to give up. Rather it brought an abundance of new joys and desires into my heart. I was so worried of losing all of the artificial ingredients that my life was filled with. But what I got was a much better recipe for living. Now, I don’t eat Cosmic Brownies anymore for more than one reason. But even if I did, who could choose that over the latter? Not me. No way, no how. And that my friends is why today has been my favorite throw-back Thursday evaaaa!!!