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Thursday, May 19, 2011

How to be the perfect perfectionist

This week I am taking a class called "A workshop in Counseling procedures." It has been a great class and I have learned a lot not only about the art of a Motivational Interviewer but as a person. We were forced to do this completely awkward and anxiety provoking exercise where we took turns practicing the skills we learned on each other. We each had a turn to be the "patient" where we picked a small issue that we would like to work on to talk about. This could be anything from procrastination to exercising more. I picked to work on my perfectionism complex. I was asked if my perfectionism only dealt with academic responsibilities. I responded that no, I always try to do the best I can in any situation whether it was being the best daughter, the best sister, the best friend and so on. Later that day I was reflecting on the session and all the sudden I felt a bag of rocks hit me upside the head.
If I am so worried at being the best student and daughter, why would I not be trying to be the best Christian? Seriously, it didn't even cross my mind to say that during my session. Shouldn't the most important part of my life be the one thing I put the most effort towards? Sounds simple, I know!
I wonder if I stop putting so much pressure on myself to be the best at everything and put a little more effort into living a life full of Jesus then things would fall into place by themselves. One of the things I find most intriguing about my relationship with Jesus is that he knows my destiny and he still sits by my side and listens to me whine, complain, and push myself to the absolute limit trying to be the best version of myself. Must be pretty entertaining for Him! So, when will I realize that being perfect in His eyes, is simply being myself.
“As for God, his way is perfect: The LORD’s word is flawless; he shields all who take refuge in him." 2Samuel 22:31
If I can figure out a way to take full refuge in The Lord and work on my relationship with my Best Friend a little more, then he in turn will provide more for me than I can ever do by working myself to extremes. This is so easy to say, but so hard to understand. I can't satisfy Jesus by making a 4.0 or being a size 2. However, I can satisfy him by having a heart full of His love.
"To all perfection I see a limit, but your commands are boundless." Psalm 119:96
I can only get so far on my own, but with The Lord I can do things unimaginable. I think I'll make it my goal this week to turn my perfectionism toward something else, somebody else. . . My merciful man upstairs!
So my perfect people. . .
Is perfectionism the secret to life?